It's too round. It's too heavy. It's too light. It's too swervy. It's too cynical. It smells like potatoes. It's unrealistic. It's emotionally distant. With just 17 days to go before Fifa World Cup South Africa 2010™ gets under way, it's unlikely to be long before the first complaints about the official tournament ball are heard. In much the same way as the sound of the cuckoo heralds the onset of spring, the shrill bleating of international goalkeepers getting their excuses in early by grumbling about the poor quality of footballs they're expected to catch, punch or kick is a sure sign that a major international football tournament looms. If the accompanying photo of Germany manager Jogi Löw posing alongside this year's model is anything to go by, they might be entitled to gripe. Call me pedantic, but I think I may have spotted a major design flaw. Unless Herr Löw is considerably shorter than I thought.

Officially launched amid much fanfare, including dry ice, strobe lighting, a troupe of dancers sporting rictus grins and a glamorous hostess faking laughter at Fifa president Sepp Blatter's epic slapstick fail, the official World Cup ball is called the Jabulani, which means "be happy" or "rejoice" in isiZulu. In layman's terms it's round and bouncy and full of air. In Adidas PR flak's terms it's eight thermically-bonded, three-dimensional panels spherically moulded from ethene-vinyl acetate and thermoplastic polyeurethanes textured with specially developed grooves to improve its aerodynamics. In short, it would be a gross dereliction of journalistic duty to lazily describe this state-of-the-art, space-age football as round. It's more round.

Frank Lampard, David Beckham, Kaká, Xabi Alonso and Bastian Schweinsteiger have all backed it with endorsements ranging from the ringing to the downright shameful, but then it's hard to shake the feeling that the same shills would happily play with a tightly wrapped bundle of whimpering Adidas-branded Labrador puppies if offered enough coin. From the goalkeeping ranks, Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech has voiced his approval, saying the Jabulani is "nice to catch", as opposed to an itchy venereal disease or the lightweight petrol station forecourt purchase his kids will be booting his way on the beach come June.

Back in South Africa, the effects of the high altitude of certain venues on the ball could make for interesting viewing. Soccer City in Johannesburg is 1,694m above sea level, while Rustenburg, scene of England's opener is at 1,153m (to put this in perspective, the Hawthorns in West Bromwich is the English League's highest ground at 168m, while the Estadio Hernando Siles in Bolivia is 3,637m). Thermoplastic polyeurethanes or no thermoplastic polyeurethanes, altitude will have an impact of 5% on the speed at which the Jabulani travels, meaning a 50-yard Steven Gerrard cross-field pass will hit a spectator sitting in the top deck of the stand 5% faster in Soccer City or Rustenburg than it would in Cape Town or Port Elizabeth. Luckily, Adidas CEO Herbert Hainer has assured the world's finest footballers that the Jabulani is the "most accurate ball we've ever made", even if Michael Carrick looks set to make a mockery of that particular boast judging by his performance against Mexico at Wembley last night.

Of course it would be naive to think of the Jabulani as being just a football when, in terms of marketing bull, there is so much more slurry left in the tank. According to Adidas, the 11 colours of their aesthetically pleasing Orb of Humanitarianism represent not only the 11 players in the starting line-ups, but also the 11 official languages and 11 communities of the host nation, South Africa. "This ball will unify us in this country," World Cup organising committee chief Danny Jordaan explained at the grand unveiling. "It carries a lot of hope for the future of this country." Quite what the decorated anti-apartheid activist makes of the Jabulani's predominant whiteness remains unclear, but nervous goalkeepers can at least be optimistic that the weight of all that hope it's carrying might prevent it from swerving too much in the air.

CAPE TOWN - Police will not tolerate criminal acts disguised as service delivery protests or worker action during the soccer world cup, Police Minister Nathi Mthethwa said on Thursday.

“We will unapologetically deal with such criminal acts decisively and we require no permission from anyone,” he said.

Mthethwa was speaking in Cape Town Stadium as part of an event, which included a drive-past by hundreds of police vehicles, held to demonstrate the police’s readiness for the 2010 World Cup.

He said he wanted to caution people against using the cup “as a token to hold government at ransom in order to achieve their desires and goals”.

While people had constiutionally-entrenched rights to negotiate, express grievances and ultimately march, all this should be done within the framework of the law.

“Police will not tolerate criminal acts that are disguised as service delivery protests or labour-related demands,” he said.

Addressing reporters at a later media briefing, he declined to comment directly on reports that the Al Kaida movement was planning a terror attack targeting the England-United States match on June 12.

“You are not going to get any specifics,” he told a British reporter.

“We have prepared ourselves from the pettiest of criminal acts to the largest of anything, terrorism included.

“Those threats have been made; it’s not the first time they've been made.

“Our agencies are not sleeping, they are working.”

Earlier Mthethwa, national commissioner Bheki Cele, other senior police and VIPs including Western Cape premier Helen Zille watched as some 250 police and emergency services vehicles paraded through central Cape Town.

They included SA Police Service vehicles, provincial and city traffic vehicles, bakkies towing police water wing rubber boats and a squad of mounted police.

Mthethwa and the VIPs, including Zille, then boarded an open-top bus for a drive to the Cape Town stadium for the rest of the event.

The bus was led by three police vehicles, all flashing their blue lights -- a practice which Zille plans to outlaw for politicians in the province, except in cases of genuine emergency.

- Sapa

SIXTY-FIVE percent of Gauteng establishments are charging more than 50% above peak season rates for accommodation during the 2010 World Cup, a survey released by the tourism ministry has found.

In the North West, 53% of the establishments were charging prices 50% higher than the high season rate for 2010.

Overall, 74% of the establishments – hotels, bed and breakfasts and self-catering venues – were charging less than 50 percent more.

“By far the majority of accommodation establishments in South Africa are very responsible,” said Tourism Minister Marthinus van Schalkwyk.

He said the industry was conducting itself “in terms of the global norm”, and that the standard principles of supply and demand in a “robust, free market global economy” were at play.

Gauteng is home to three of the stadiums where World Cup matches will be played, two host cities and will host the opening and closing games.

His department commissioned Grant Thornton to conduct the study, which sampled 2 479 accommodation establishments, less than a quarter of the 15 882 establishments it asked for information.

In the Western Cape, only 13% of the establishments were raising their prices by more than 50%.

This was because the industry in the province had signed a code of conduct on responsible pricing. “Only 10% are very bad apples,” Van Schalkwyk said.

“Given the fact that South Africa is a robust free market economy, fans are encouraged to shop around and avoid establishments with exorbitant pricing, in line with our desire that South Africa continues to remain a value for money destination,” he said.

Van Schalkwyk had assured the tourism industry that the government would not set prices for them. “We believe that the industry should take responsibility for the few bad apples ... this industry has acted responsibly. I’ve given an assurance to the industry that we will treat the industry with a light touch,” he said.

Van Schalkwyk said what was happening in South Africa did not “come close” to the price gouging in Athens, which hosted the 2004 Olympics. In Athens, overly inflated prices led to tourists staying away from the destination during and after the event.

The study, which used Athens as an international benchmark, noted that prices there were inflated by 260% on the same period the previous year.

Van Schalkwyk wanted visitors to return to South Africa after the World Cup.

Tourism Business Council of SA chairman Tommy Edmond said: “In reality there is accommodation with reasonable prices available.” Federated Hospitality Association of Southern Africa executive director Brett Duncan acknowledged that prices had increased, but said there would not be a shortage of accommodation during the tournament. — Sapa